An introductory word vomit & semi in depth analysis of what is definable.
- Written by J.Dean in collaboration with M.A.
This is me, and it goes...
I am a young man but by no means a simple man.
I am a complicated individual. A mass of contradictions.
Within me is the heart and spirit of a young boy but the determination and insight of a grown man.
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I am focused, I am committed.
School, for now, is my life. I will graduate.
I can work hard, I can play even harder.
Although I do not have much to show for it yet,
I am happy with the accomplishments I've made.
I am still working towards my greater potential.
I am a dreamer and I believe that dreams can become reality.
With each step I find I learn something new, every time, all the time.
I try to approach every new situation with a smile and a positive attitude.
I find it easy to say hello to someone new in my life,
But I don't realize until later how hard it may be for me to say goodbye.
I can care and say too much; depending on who, it all comes back to love.
Yet I wonder what love is. The ongoing question, an enigma.
I've felt love, I give love, I share the love. I know I am loved. I look for love.
The best of me can be generous, spiritual and sympathetic.
The worst of me can be materialistic, superficial and selfish. Traits I am less than proud of.
I am a firm believer that faith in God will get you through anything.
A belief that has brought me through my best and worst moments.
Although I've strayed away, I am trying to find my way back.
I've apologized to those that matter for the mistakes I've made.
I've picked myself up from most of my wrong doings.
Since then I've lost, gained, fought, learned, lived and let die.
I am always trying to to put my best foot forward for those I care about.
Trying to come through for them when it counts.
I can over analyze plenty of things but it has gotten me somewhere.
I am learning that the only people I need in life.
Are the ones who have been with me through thick and thin.
Through the good, the bad and the ugly.
My immediate family and my truly closest friends.
They've got the best of my love.
But from time to time I need those that try to bring me down.
Those who spit dirt on my name, who hurt and take advantage.
Those who take pride in every negative thing they hear and say about me.
Those who think they can take my generosity and time for granted and walk all over me - NO.
Those who choose not to open their eyes
And fess up to the fact that we're not kids playing with toys anymore.
Those are the people I've learned from and try to avoid in the future.
I know I have my enemies. The ones who think less of me because of my so called "poor attitude."
Despite what you may think, I act out out due to all the injustice, unfairness and bullshit I put up with.
I am a rebel with a cause. I walk and talk like this but I can back it up.
I loathe those who feel that they are unjustly entitled, no one is entitled, everything is fair game.
It's a must to develop thick skin. No one made it to the top by being humble all the time.
The successes and the fuck ups allow me to broaden my life perspective.
Coming out of my sheltered upbringing, I've learned that the world is not always a wonderful place.
Despite what you may think, I've put up a fight for what I have in my life right now.
I've learned that nothing comes easy and if it does it is not worth having.
I've never backed down and in the end it was a victory I am most proud of.
To me it's the never ending battle, a test to see if I can see it through.
I do not want to remain silent and in the dark any longer.
I will not dwell, I will not wallow, I will not look back on negative events of the past.
I will not be discouraged, I won't back down, I vow to go round for round until the end.
I will not lose because I am not a loser.
I CAN, I CAN, I CAN, I CAN - I WILL. I'll show me then I'll show you.
And to this day my story continues...
